disappointment

i realize now that my expectations were unrealistic
in thinking that you were above being human
above the fray
my disappointment is my own fault
but i respected and
admired
you
for so long
you helped me grow so much
and opened up my path
in ways previously unimaginable
and then to realize
that you were not only susceptible
to vanity and superego
but that it was your driving force
behind all that otherworldly success
disguised behind all those words
all those beautiful words
i feel a bit foolish now
yet i can't fault you
you are allowed to be human too
just like them
just like me
and so i start again
with a renewed understanding
that being human
never stopped anyone from changing the world
and so
i
learn
again

(nyc)