but

it's like we're all made of stitching, held together by these tiny miniscule invisible seams, and every time someone or something hurts us, one of those stitches bursts and it stings, but it's momentary and it heals with time.

and then sometimes there are those life events that just completely rip you open and gut you from head to toe. and you're bleeding and bleeding and nothing can contain the pain because it's too much all at once and all the seams are destroyed and there's nothing there to hold you together anymore. what happens then? how do you put yourself back together and how much time does it take?

some people never recover. some do a horrible job of putting themselves back in one piece, looking like a semblance of themselves on the outside, but completely disfigured on the inside. they shrivel up to life, they shrink and become bitter, cynical, hardened. but there are others...

the truth is, it happens to all of us, all the time. sometimes it happens suddenly, bloodily, painfully. sometimes we die a thousand tiny deaths over and over again. but it's called life and it's called growing up. we all bear the scars, the wounds.

it takes time, but i promise promise promise it is possible to become light again. when you're plunged into the massive currents of a rip tide and you have no idea which way is up or down and you're drowing - it's ok. it's ok to be lost there, it's ok to drown there. it's ok to give up there.

because a time will come, when you will slowly start to float up to the surface. you will find the glimmer of light and it will be fleeting and faint, but... there is a but. you have to choose the but. because all that you thought that you lost, is not. there's more. there's beyond. and it'll take time, but you have to keep choosing the buts, slowly.

i'll be waiting.

(nyc)