tonight, i get to sit on my couch and actually have a chunk of time - alone - to write. i don't have to be anywhere, i didn't make any promises or plans with anyone else, and i feel calm and centered in the silence. every day, every morning i wake up, already feeling behind. i can't even imagine what happens when you add children into the mix. i look at parents sometimes and wonder how they function. how does one find balance and time to just simply breathe? it really is a luxury! and it shouldn't be that way. why is it so hard to live in the moment? maybe because it requires such stillness, and in today's society, that's become increasingly harder with all the tasks and distractions.
lately i've been cutting through central park to get to work. in a city like manhattan, made up of high-rises, incessant pedestrians and honking yellow-taxicab traffic, central park is truly an oasis. for the ten minutes it takes me to get from one side to the other, i feel my heartbeat slow down, and the trees and grass lull me into peaceful gratitude. to be truthful, the walk makes me late to work, but i do it anyway. it truly makes me feel rich.
more and more, i am valuing health. when your body doesn't function, the rest of your life doesn't function. i have no problems with eating right, but exercising is very hard for me. my schedule is so irregular and erratic that i never know when i'll get a chance to go. when i do, i'm often too tired and i'd rather use the extra time to sleep. how do you make time for it in your life? i'd love your thoughts and suggestions. for me, exercise is still a luxury i'm learning how to afford.
on the flip side, i feel like i make up for it in smiling. my sister tells me that i smile like the donkey from shrek:
while other people tend to freak out/get mad/get annoyed, i sometimes feel almost disrespectful because i have a tendency to smile like a goofball. it's not a coping mechanism, and it's not to say that i don't have my bad days either. but overall, i think i'm pretty good about seeing the brighter side of things and finding myself thankful for even the smallest of victories. but i just genuinely feel happy many times in my life, even when it seems like the world around me is falling to crap. and lately, it's the tiny, simple things that make me smile. like today, my mom commented on how the rain was falling so prettily. it gently drizzled sideways, she was right. and we had a delicious thai lunch together at this cute little restaurant on 3rd avenue and i felt so happy that we could have lunch together on a wednesday afternoon. nothing earth-shattering, but simply luxurious.
all things in life require muscles. the more you work them out, the stronger they become. and these include muscles like positivity, gratitude and searching for beauty.
i wanna be wonder woman, superhero of luxury.
(nyc)
