thank you 2011

it's been a beautiful, ever-changing, ever-expanding journey...

ONE LOVE.

xoxo youri

(washington dc)

resort of maraschino flavored cooling towels

sigh... i miss this place, especially at christmas :)

(washington dc)

i like i like

totally loooove this balmain top

(nyc)

so effing proud

of my brother. for multiple reasons.

for his recent promotion, for how hard he works, for his generosity, for his integrity of character.

but most of all, for his deep and genuine understanding of love.

today, he blew me away on a whole new level and it made me realize how big of a man he is, in the fullest sense of the word.

ddk, you're a fucking rock star.

(nyc)

i like it crunchy

snow blankets

air sharp crisp

night fall stars

pure silence

glitter sun

i can hear my own breath...

(nyc)

i'm fucking matt damon!

i love him, sooo want to work with him :)

and of course, jimmy kimmel's hilarious response:

and another oldie but goodie from jimmy kimmel:

was reading on article on matt damon earlier today and remembered the video he did with sarah silverman a few years back. if i had to pick an ocean's guy, he would be it :D

(nyc)

f(x) calculus and juicers and life

what do these three things have in common? a lot more than you might think.

remember functions in high school calculus? here's a very simple one:

basically, your end result would be a function of whatever variable you put in the first place. 

and then there's juicers:

 

whatever you put in is what you get out.

i'm sure you already get the message. but for some reason, people get so confused when they put in a shit variable and expect a good outcome. you put in crap fruit, you get crap juice. you put in the best, nicest fruit and you get healthier, more delicious juice. simple, really. and it only takes one bad apple to ruin the batch.

so stop feeding negativity and doubts and stresses into your life, and really focus on feeding your mind/body/soul with light and joy and beauty. you'll be amazed at the results.

(nyc)

newton's 3rd, part ii

newton's third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. in my interpretation, i understood this to mean that all things are one, and that one force cannot exist without its counterbalance, i.e. light cannot exist without dark. the yin and yang of life.

the more i thought of it though, i realized that there can be further extrapolations from newton's law. remember the children's playground taunt, "i'm rubber, you're glue, whatever i say bounces off me and sticks to you"? it's what you would use when someone called you stupid or something mean. it's not quite the same, but the general idea of this rhyme holds a lot of truth.

whatever you give is what you receive.

the interesting thing about newton's law is that it happens in the same moment. as i push down on the keys of this keyboard, they are equally pushing back at me. as i give love in this moment to x/y/z, i am also receiving love unto myself. this is the key - all too often, we look for answers outside ourselves, rather than realizing our own power. we are already complete and whole, we don't need someone or something else on the outside to confirm or affirm our beauty. our souls did not come with parts missing or broken bits. what comes from the outside can help our wholenesses to grow and to expand our comprehensions, but we are, and always have been, fully capable of giving and receiving love in equal capacity of our own volition. in that same way, we must also be careful of own power to hate or hurt others. in effect, we are hating or hurting our own selves because the source is one and the same.

another thought i was pondering last night was this: according to the physics of this law, as i am asking for something, the answer is already existing. by my mere bringing forth of the request, i am also giving birth to its counterbalance. so that means i never have to worry, because everything that i want is always created in fullness. so why aren't the answers always instant or why do the answers sometimes stink?

i think that's why we need to not lose faith, be careful and be specific in our requests, and to not pollute our vibrations with negative thoughts. it slows things down and mutates the answer. we cannot expect a good positive outcome when we spew out negativity and darkness to begin with, or mix that in somewhere in the process. and we must recognize that we are constantly asking for things, even if we don't realize it. many times they are not even conscious thoughts, but in our conditioned emotional responses, which is why it is so important to be positive. it is a muscle to be trained like any other. we must make our requests in good faith and hold steady for the good outcome.

because this is not just gibberish, but an actual proven physical law of the universe, as put forth by isaac newton, one of the most revered scientists of all time.

(nyc)

i like the way you think

(nyc)

all i want for christmas...

is YOU!!! ^_^

this song makes me really happy inside :D

(nyc)

oh kermie...

got called in for another voiceover job (yay!), but seeing as that i'm sick and sound like:

the producer rescinded the job offer (boo!). so i've resorted to talking to myself just to keep myself entertained. might as well have fun with this, right?

that's right, i sound like a damn sexy frog. lick me miss piggy.

(nyc)

newton's third law of motion

in my previous posts earlier this year, i wrote about how physics and newton's first law and second law of motions apply to real life. here's my take on #3:

for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.

for some reason, this whole concept fascinated me when i first learned about it in high school. my physics teacher explained that if we were pushing up against a wall, the wall was equally pushing back at us. it made for a funny image in my head that totally captivated me for some unknown reason and has stuck with me for all these years.

i think it must have been because it's something that we all inherently understand, even as little kids. for example, if you hit someone on the playground, they're going to hit you right back!

but on a bigger picture scale, newton's concept is interesting because it implies that nothing can exist without its equal and opposite force. there can be no light without dark. there can be no joy without pain. there can be no laughter without tears. it is only through the co-existence of pairs that these life forces can even exist in the first place. yet how often do we only cherish and pursue one-half of that equation? we always only want the "good" stuff, but the reality is that we have to accept the wholeness. because ultimately, it is all one and the same.

and therein newton's third law of motion, is proof yet again of life's simplest philosophy ---
be. here. now.

just breathe.

"the deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?" - kalil gibran

next up, calculus.

(nyc)

intimacy

please
don't judge me
for my face
nor my body
because of the car i drive
or the zip code i live in
because of my current job
or bank account balance
for my age
race
gender
belief system

please
don't judge
my past
my present
my future

look at my
soul

then tell me again what you just wanted to say
because i really want to be able to hear you
without being afraid of getting hurt

(nyc)

gone fishing

whenever i go snorkeling, the little kid in me always wants to catch a fish with my bare hands, even though i know it's next to impossible.

it's maddening, they're so sneaky, those slippery little suckers...

and the more i chase them, the further away they swim. yet if i manage to stay still long enough, they'll swim around me, allowing me to appreciate their colorful beauty. i don't know why i feel such a need to grab and touch them. weird instinct, eh? yet i know we all feel it, as humans.

why do we chase things so hard, and feel a need to grab and hold onto them? why is this our first instinct, instead of allowing the beauty to come to us? sometimes, every once in a blue moon, we do capture the fish. we capture the moment, the goal, the prize. and it's so satisfying, yet one moment we have it, and the next, it's gone.

i don't know why i keep expecting that life will not be fleeting and ephemeral. i keep thinking that if i can just hold onto this moment of knowingness, it will last for all my life. that i can hold onto that peace and calm and place of nonresistance. but the current always changes and the seas never remain still for long.

so what's a snorkeler to do?

learning, and relearning, every single day. how to swim with the flow, how to breathe still, how to let the fish come to me, how to notice the colors...

(nyc)

today i am especially grateful for

daily hot showers

the yummy homemade pasta i had for lunch

my family, both blood and beyond

free international calls on skype and texts through whatsapp

my clean bed

and a special thank you to

for sharing this very meaningful video with me:

Louie Schwartzberg's TED Talk on Gratitude

grazie mille caro tesoro, sempre :)

(nyc)

snow white and the huntsman

can't wait to see this, totally my kind of movie on so many levels...

have a major crush on the lead... yeah charlize. chris hemsworth ain't so bad either :)

(nyc)

but

it's like we're all made of stitching, held together by these tiny miniscule invisible seams, and every time someone or something hurts us, one of those stitches bursts and it stings, but it's momentary and it heals with time.

and then sometimes there are those life events that just completely rip you open and gut you from head to toe. and you're bleeding and bleeding and nothing can contain the pain because it's too much all at once and all the seams are destroyed and there's nothing there to hold you together anymore. what happens then? how do you put yourself back together and how much time does it take?

some people never recover. some do a horrible job of putting themselves back in one piece, looking like a semblance of themselves on the outside, but completely disfigured on the inside. they shrivel up to life, they shrink and become bitter, cynical, hardened. but there are others...

the truth is, it happens to all of us, all the time. sometimes it happens suddenly, bloodily, painfully. sometimes we die a thousand tiny deaths over and over again. but it's called life and it's called growing up. we all bear the scars, the wounds.

it takes time, but i promise promise promise it is possible to become light again. when you're plunged into the massive currents of a rip tide and you have no idea which way is up or down and you're drowing - it's ok. it's ok to be lost there, it's ok to drown there. it's ok to give up there.

because a time will come, when you will slowly start to float up to the surface. you will find the glimmer of light and it will be fleeting and faint, but... there is a but. you have to choose the but. because all that you thought that you lost, is not. there's more. there's beyond. and it'll take time, but you have to keep choosing the buts, slowly.

i'll be waiting.

(nyc)

in place of

in place of all your hurt, i am covering it with my well wishes for you
in place of all your anger, i am covering it with future happinesses for you
in place of all your sorrow, i am covering it with love for you

i can't imagine
what it must be like
to be in your shoes

but for as long as you need

in place of all your darkness, i will cover it with light for you
until you find that place too...

(nyc)

oggi facciamo la spesa

(nyc)